Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #15 on Jun 28, 2006, 3:02am »
River wanted to be honest with Simon. She wanted to be hones with him all the time, to tell him everything she was going through, so that he could help her. She knew that he was smart, smart in some ways where she was dumb. Just like she was smart in some ways like he was dumb. That’s why they got along so well together, they complimented each other. She wanted to tell him everything, if she could. That’s why she told him about the tattoo. Things like these, he was going to find out anyway, and it was better he heard it from her.
She knew what Simon would be thinking. And it was sad, but what could she do. Of course she was a little jealous. Everyone else was getting more time with Simon. Not her so much anymore. Which was fine, she guessed. She had been spending time with Jayne, still, she was jealous that Kaylee and even Saffron were getting as much Simon time as they were getting.
“Not jealous. Forget. Shouldn’t have said such as I did. Not jealous.” River smiled warm and loving for Simon. She knew that he liked it when she smiled. And she didn’t want him to be more upset. I The truth would have to come later. f he wasn’t ready for it, she wouldn’t say it. Not now.
Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1 Location: Serenity Karma: 44
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #16 on Jun 28, 2006, 7:57pm »
Simon really hoped that he hadn't hurt River. He knew he'd been neglecting her lately, knew that he'd spent more time with Kaylee and the others, and his heart broke at the thought that it made River jealous or any such thing. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, and he vowed then and there to never let anyone or anything stand in the way of him giving River his undivided attention ever again. He was going to be the Simon he used to be again, no matter how hard the transition was.
"It's okay to be jealous, meimei," Simon said softly. "You know that you can tell me that. The only way for me to help is for me to know. What is it you're jealous of?"
He just wanted to be sure that he had his facts straight. If River had meant something other than what he was thinking of and Simon was barking up the wrong tree, he wanted to know before he took action so that no worse consequences would come of things. It seemed as though everything he did had some sort of a consequence behind it and he didn't want those consequences acting on River.
Hugging River again, Simon rubbed her back gently. He wanted her to know how much he loved her and cared for her, how much he would always feel those things for her. She meant more to him than anything else in the 'verse, and he hoped she could feel that in his touch, his embrace.
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #17 on Jul 1, 2006, 8:09pm »
“Jealous that you have someone. Someone you care for. Someone who makes your heartbeat race and your blood pump. Feelings and emotions expressed when the body reacts.” River hugged him back, resting her head against his shoulder. She knew how Simon felt about Kaylee. He liked her. Not just liked her, he liked her. He wanted her.
In her heart, River wasn’t really jealous. Jealous was a bad word, didn’t mean it like it sounded. She wished for more time with Simon. She missed it, the time they spent together, even when he was just testing different medicines on her, but she wasn’t jealous.
“Love you, Simon. Always will. You’re moving on. It’s time for me to as well. Can’t be with you forever when you’re with someone else.” She tapped him on the nose, giving him a small smile. Could he let her go? Would he, especially when she said it was with Jayne.
Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1 Location: Serenity Karma: 44
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #18 on Jul 3, 2006, 12:15am »
Simon's heart broke at River's words. Somehow he'd know that Kaylee was at the heart of his sister's jealousy, but he hadn't wanted to admit it. He hadn't wanted to admit that he'd let the mechanic take precedence over River for even just a little while. He felt like he was letting River down and it was the last thing in the 'verse that he wanted to do. He couldn't let himself move on, not if River wasn't ready to be let go, to let go. He sighed softly and cuddled River close to himself, gently stroking a hand through her hair.
"I love Kaylee, meimei," Simon whispered softly. "But I love you too. It's just a different kind of love."
He listened as she continued. He was moving on, it was true, but he didn't want it to seem like that. It sounded so final, so permanent and like it put a rift between him and River. She seemed to understand that she needed to move on, but Simon wondered just how she would do that without him. It was a paradox, really. He ran his free hand through his hair and let it fall to rest on her shoulder. The smile that curved her lips did almost nothing to ease his worry, even when she playfully tapped his nose. He shook his head lightly.
"This doesn't have to be about moving on," Simon said lightly. "We don't have to move on, I'm not moving on. We're just shifting focus a little. I won't let go, not until I know you can hold on."
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #19 on Jul 3, 2006, 11:38am »
"A different kind of love, Simon. You love me, but you love her. She is your one. You wish to possess her, to belong. And you will, with her. Moving on, shifting focus, it is inconsequential how you phrase it. There is a change coming." River turned her face, kissing his hand as it sat on her shoulder. She knew how things are now, or would be. And, taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly. Trying to calm, she had to continue.
"You don't kiss me like you kiss her. No cuddle snuggle for us." River rolled her eyes. "It's wrong." She spat the word out, almost like a curse. Like she didn't agree with what she was saying. "If you don't want to let go, Simon, then you need to step back. You found your Kaylee. I need to find mine." River giggled. "Well, not like Kaylee."
River paused, eyeing Simon warily. "Jayne makes me smile, Simon."
Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1 Location: Serenity Karma: 44
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #20 on Jul 3, 2006, 7:55pm »
As hard as he tried, Simon knew he would never be able to say what he really meant. It was coming out all wrong and River was only reaffirming a point that he wasn't at all trying to make. He sighed softly and watched her as she gently brushed a kiss over his hand. He hoped that despite how terrible the implications he was making sounded, River understood that he meant what he said in the best possible way, and that he woul never move on without her. Now her next words came as a bit of a shock.
"River, it is wrong, we've been through this," he said softly. "You're getting to the age where you want to explore, where you want to be with a man and express yourself in new ways, I know that. I know you see me with Kaylee and want that, but you and I, we can't... You'll find someone, River, you have plenty of time."
He gently rubbed her back, wishing that there was something he could do. He wanted to take away her worry, her anxiety or whatever it was she may have felt. He wanted to be able to embrace her flourishing sexuality, to help her explore and learn about it, but he had a hard enough time thinking about it himself, let alone thinking about his sister experiencing those kinds of things. He sighed almost inaudibly and looked at her.
"Jayne makes me smile, Simon."
Wide eyed, Simon looked at River and swallowed thickly. This couldn't be going where he thought it was going.
"What do you mean, meimei?" Simon asked cautiously.
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #21 on Jul 5, 2006, 10:25am »
"Always here. By my side. Not leaving, not going anywhere. I understand, Simon. " River gave Simon a sideways glance, smiling. She knew what he was trying to say, but she was trying to get him to understand her. He'd always be by her side, but it was time for both of them to try new things.
One eyebrow raised as she listened to him talk about it being wrong. He didn't know what she wanted, not really. She loved him. He was blood to her. Still, he wanted another, and he would always be beside her. She wanted another too. She wanted Jayne. And she couldn't suppress the giggle that came out of her mouth when she told him what she thought about Jayne. Oh yes, the conversation was going in that direction.
"I like him, Simon. I like him the way you like Kaylee. He's special to me."
Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1 Location: Serenity Karma: 44
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #22 on Jul 10, 2006, 11:44pm »
Simon couldn't get over the fact that River was actually telling him she liked Jayne. The man was crude, uncivilized, dumb as a post and then some. He was completely wrong for her. She needed someone gentle, soft spoken, someone that could protect her and take care of her, not one or the other. He sighed softly, resisting the urge to expressly forbid River from pursuing anything with Jayne. He wanted what was best for her, and from where he stood, that was definitely not the mercenary.
"You really have to think on those feelings, River," Simon said softly. "They aren't to be taken lightly. You have to be sure you're ready to enter into something like that with someone, with Jayne of all people. If you're going to be so ardent about it, if you're going to pour all of your energy into affection for him, you have to be careful. I don't want him to break your heart."
He reached out, gently resting a hand on her chest over her heart, feeling the beat beneath his palm. She was his dear little sister, he didn't want anything or anyone to hurt her. He didn't want to see her crying, broken. She'd been through enough in her life, she didn't need Jayne to put her through more trials.
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #23 on Jul 11, 2006, 12:43pm »
River's eyes narrowed and she stared at Simon. He cared for her, fine, but he didn't have the right to tell her who he could and couldn't be with. And he had a lot of nerve in that department. She couldn't have him, she couldn't have Jayne. She couldn't have Mal, she couldn't have Wash. Who was left, Preacher man? She shook her head, her smile starting to disappear.
"Someone to protect and someone to care, as long as he's not my brother and not an ape." She crossed her arms in front of her chest, batting his hand away from her breast. He couldn't touch her there. It was wrong.
"I'm not a child, Simon Tam. Think I am. And I am broken, but I have a mind. Jayne may be a lot of things, but he cares. He doesn't see me as someone to be coddled."
Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 1 Location: Serenity Karma: 44
Re: The Night Side of Eden (attn. River) « Reply #24 on Jul 11, 2006, 1:46pm »
Simon could see that River was starting to get agitated. He wished that she would understand that he wasn't trying to hurt her, to cut her off from the world, from a love of her own. He was just trying to protect her. He would always have that fierce brotherly instinct, no matter how much time passed or what it was that River was getting herself into. He couldn't not be wary in her place. He just didn't want her to have to suffer.
He pulled his hand away when River crossed her arms over her chest and shooed him off. She was right, of course, though it hurt him to admit it. She wasn't a child, not anymore, not after all she'd been through. Still, Simon wanted only the best for her. He wanted someone who could coddle her, be gentle with her, and at the same time have an intelligent conversation. He didn't want to see her with someone who was only good enough for her, even by a longshot, when it came to physical strength. She needed more than that.
"I know you think I'm being overbearing, overprotective," Simon compromised. "But you know that I only want what's best for you. It's hard for me to accept that my little sister is in love with someone who seems so wrong for her. It's hard for me to see you with him, meimei, please understand. I only want you to be happy, I want what's best for you, and if you think that Jayne can make you happy, then I won't try to discourage you. I'm just trying to be a good brother."
![[Home]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/home.gif)
![[Help]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/help.gif)
![[Search]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/search.gif)
![[Login]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/login.gif)
![[Register]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/register.gif)
![[Search This Thread]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/search2.gif)
![[Send Topic To Friend]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/sendtopic.gif)
![[Print]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/print.gif)
Author
![[avatar]](http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a199/uniquebanality/Serenity%20Avatars/River3.jpg)
![[aim]](http://www.shutupanddance.com/Images/aim.gif)
Logged![[image]](http://img154.imageshack.us/img154/8785/riverserenity7lc.png)
![[avatar]](http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b239/EncoreUneNuit/simonav.jpg)
![[yim]](http://www.shutupanddance.com/Images/yahoo.gif)
![[msn]](http://www.shutupanddance.com/Images/msn.gif)
![[homepage]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/www_sm.gif)
![[image]](http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b239/EncoreUneNuit/simonbann.jpg)